What manner of egomaniac would create a website like this?

Jared Cameron

–  riding off into the sunset with neither dignity nor silence –  that’s who!

Day Seven

Chronicling the end of life as we know it

 

Stormageddon Times

Obama abandons DC for balmy Chicago ;

declares Washington a polar bear refuge

Killer storms hit Washington;

women and minorities suffer most

Stormageddon and Snoverkill, the twin perfect storms that have brought the most powerful city in the most powerful country in the Eye of God to its knees, are part of “a great right wing conspiracy to take back women's hard-won advances and reassert male dominance of society.”

That’s the distaff read on the catastrophe from noted ‘snow wuss,’ femi-Nazi and National Council of Women’s Organization President Susan P. Scanlan.

“Title IX or no Title IX, women are not going to risk their pedi- and manicures shoveling snow, even in fashionable footwear.

“That means men will demand sexual favors, freshly baked cookies and a restoration of their right to vote in return for clearing

driveways, leading to a reversion to the bad old days when piglet boys ran the world.

“I’ll bet President–emeritus George W. Bush, whose disastrous policies directly led to this horrible situation, must be overjoyed.”

Scanlan intends to join other feminist leaders in a press conference. She called on Virginia Governor and noted friend of working women Bob McDonnell to send gangs of brawny men to clear a path for her to the nearest TV camera and is holding her breath waiting for them to arrive.

Not surprisingly in a city where everything is political, others held a substantially different view of events.

Rev. Pat Robertson called the massive snow storm that has paralyzed the nation’s capital ‘divine

In a move designed to placate radical environmentalists unhappy about global warming, President Obama today announced that Washington, D.C. has been converted into a polar bear refuge and moved the national capital  to Chicago where the weather is 'more temperate.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Let it snow! Removing snow is not a legitimate government function and anyhow, a complete non-ultraviolet tanning program protects from both snow and sun…” Rep. John Boehner (R,OH)

“Hell will freeze over before New Orleans beats us in the Super Bowl!” Peyton Manning.

أسامة بن محمد بن عوض بن لادن‎,

“Translation: Bootlicking lackeys of a degenerate she-devil: Remove the heavenly snow at your own peril. Osama bin Laden.”

“Bring it on! Me and Brownie can handle it!” G. W. Bush

“You shouldda listened when I warned you about the inconvenient truth of Global Warming…” Al Gore

Feminists fault fellows

Rev Pat blames just about everyone

Haiti aid armada sails to lend a hand

As the bears frolicked and gnawed on pets in former residential areas, some residents questioned the wisdom of the decision.

“I voted for Obama and like every right-thinking person, I  favor all that ‘nature shit,’ noted committed environmentalist Jared Cameron. “But abandoning Washington while the 7-11 still has plenty of cigarettes seems more than a little premature!”

“If I wanted to freeze my scrawny butt off, I would have stayed in Kansas,” the President said in a hastily-convened press conference convened shortly after Secret Service agents hustled the First Family onto Air Force  for the two-hour flight to the formerly Windy City.

Reporters from Fox News were excluded from the flight.

In a stunning show of efficiency, the first refugee bears arrived in the former capital minutes after the Air Force One liftoff.

retribution’ for promiscuity, homosexuality, feminism, illegal immigration, Internet porn, sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll, health care reform and not eating your vegetables.

“Virgin sacrifice is the only way to make the storm stop,” opined the controversial clergyman, but where can one find a virgin these days?

 

Meanwhile, Haiti will dispatch an ‘aid Armada to Washington dig out the nation’s capital.

 

“Turnabout is fair play,” a government spokesperson stated.

 

“The least we can do is help our friends in the north by lending an hand in digging out and kidnapping their children just as they did for us!”